Yes is such a small and powerful word.
It’s just 3 letters: Y, E, S.
And it has the power to change worlds.
“Yes I will play tag with you.” “Yes, I will go on a date with you.” “Yes, I will accept this job offer.”
It has the power to start or deepen professional and personal relationships.
How are you using this small and mighty word?
What are you saying yes to?
Are you saying yes to finishing that report by the end of the week? To picking up the groceries or to washing the dishes? Or perhaps to having dinner or hanging out with someone?
Who are you saying yes to?
Is it to your boss, parents, friends, partner, kids, neighbors, or yourself?
Notice the frequency of your yeses and to whom you are saying yes to.
If you are saying yes to everyone and everything else, then do you have the capacity to say yes to yourself?
When we often say others, we can forget about saying yes to ourselves.
There are different types of yeses.
I see and experiences at least 3 yeses:
The first yes is the true yes or the whole hearted yes. It’s the yes that lights you up, energize you, and you are so so so excited to say the word. This yes is an inner yes – meaning that it is aligned with what you really want.
The next yes is the obligatory or should yes. It’s the yes that you think you should say, because you want to be liked or well regarded. This yes is more of an outer yes – meaning that is it aligned with what other people really want.
Another yes is the automatic or habitual yes. It’s the yes that you don’t think about because you are so used to saying the word. It can be a response to repetitive things or things that you no longer want to fight about because you know the outcome already. So you say yes habitually.
I am sure there are more than 3 types of yeses, but these are the ones that I’ve encountered in myself and seen in others.
In addition to noticing what or who you are saying yes to, notice what types of yes you giving away. Notice how you feel when you say yes in these different circumstances.
For our yeses are powerful: they can create possibilities and connections. So use your yeses wisely to determine what types of possibilities and connections you want more of in your life.
If you want more fun and freedom, then say yes to things and people that bring that to you.
If you want more progress and growth, then say yes to things that bring you closer to these opportunities. Or better yet: ask others for these opportunities and allow them to say yes to you.
If you want more kindness and care, then say yes to people who show you they have kindness and care in their lives.
Let the power of yes open up possibilities and connections in your life.
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Nancy Li is a coach who helps high achievers build a toolkit to navigate through difficult situations and get to their goals. Just as you wouldn’t send a child to a field trip without packing their bookbag, why would you go into a difficult situation without a toolkit that is filled with tools that work for you?
To learn more, visit pannapanya.com or email Nancy at nancy@pannapanya.com.