We often think that to get to our goals, our strategies have to be big, complex, and grand.
Yet sometimes compassion is the most effective, intelligent, and cheapest strategy.
This is a story that friend once told me: he was working in a construction company as a foreman. They were on a project with tight timelines and hard physical labor to literally build a building with little heavy machinery.
By the end of the first day everyone was tired. He called for the end of the work day and everyone piled into the minivan to be driven back to pick up and drop off location. As my friend was driving, he just cared – he cared about the tough physical labor that his team had to go through and he cared about the project and having to go back to the job site again early next morning.
With that care and compassion in his heart, he pulled over to a convenience store, went in, and bought five bottles of beer with his own money. Even though the workers were tired, they perked up a bit at the sight of him walking back with a bag of beer. They sat in the parking lot, cracked open the beers, took a long slow swig, and drank in silence as the heaviness of the say sat with them. After a bit of chitchatting and drinking, they piled back into the minivan.
My friend can feel the energy of the car picked up even though everyone was tired. The next day everyone showed up on time in the early morning to pile into the minivan to go to the job site again for another day of hard labor.
As my friend says: compassion is the most intelligent and cheapest strategy.
Five bottles of beer costs a few dollars. The motivation, camaraderie, and care that the people on the team experienced fueled each and everyone of them to continuously show up and do the project.
It allowed my friend to go beyond the foreman role and the other people to be just workers. It allowed a different way for the project to continue.
However if we are using compassion to manipulate, if we actually don’t feel the compassion, then it won’t work.
It’s the realization that we are all human and here is something we can share together because I care.
If you give something too big then it is a bribe, if you give something too small then it is ineffective.
Five beers was enough to be compassionately intelligent.
This is principle #2 of befriending the elephant in the conference room: the more compassion you have for yourself and the other person in conflict, the more roles and pathways you create for people to contribute with increasing effectiveness.
Read about the next principle here.
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Hi! I am Nancy Li – the coach, trainer, and speaker who you call on when you conflict gets in the way of you reaching your goals. I help leaders and managers navigate through conflict situations to reach their goals with their humanity intact.
Learn more about what I do here: https://pannapanya.com/
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[…] Read about the next principle here. […]