This is a truth: authenticity needs community. For we never truly do anything alone.
Community allows us to learn what your voice actually wants to say and express instead of saying things to avoid judgment, appease others, or to not hurt others. It allows us to be with people who may have done the similar hard thing that you are doing and somehow found a way to weave between the hard lines and soft edges of how to express what is alive in you, your truth, and what you value in a way that others can hear you – actually hear you, instead of just nod, smile, and walk away.
Community lets us mourn and celebrate with others – for both are equally important. To mourn that we regret something or really want something but cannot have it; to celebrate that something you really care for or value is shared.
True community isn’t selfish or exclusionary, it includes and invites: “Come over, sit with me with a cup of coffee or tea in your hand and tell me your story. If I find the story to be overwhelming, would you want to go for a walk with me? Not because I don’t care but I want to honor and take care of what is in you and in me. After our walk, I can listen again.” This invitation is not just for you but also others who seek authenticity and community.
Community allows us to practice: “I really meant to convey this, but somehow it turned into something I didn’t expect or wanted. Can I try again?” and the answer is always a yes.
Community is expansive and allows for different voices to practice. It has so much spaciousness because it is not dependent on 1 person (perhaps a romantic partner) or 2 people (perhaps a nuclear family) but more than that. With more people we have more capacity to face things together.
I hope you have a community that holds your authenticity – with all its rawness, with all its celebrations and mournings, with all its passion and numbness, with all its delight and grief, and the many parts of you.
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Nancy Li is a Coach, Speaker, Facilitator who deeply cares about people tapping into their own authenticity and being effective and connected to whatever it is they want to do.