You have a client facing role on a fast paced, complex, and interdependent project. Your team consists of:
- Project leader who sold the project and is accountable for the outcome
- 3 junior team members who are responsible for project execution
- You as the project manager
You all are about to present findings and recommendations in the second to last meeting to the client.
The project is multifactorial and depends on the work of another internal team. Two days prior to the client meeting this internal team gave you new information that affects the findings and recommendations. For the sake of transparency and quality delivery, a decision was made to include the new information in the presentation.
When the client saw the new information, this happened:
Client: Why are you bringing this new information so late in this project? Why didn’t you do this sooner?
Project leader: We brought it up to you now because it is an added bonus to the project.
Client: What? You didn’t let us know anything about it before and now you’re saying that it is a “bonus”?!?!
You can tell that the client is discombobulated, maybe even mistrustful. You decided to step in with a skill you believe and trained the team in: reflective listening:
You: I hear that you are confused and perhaps even irritated at our team for presenting the information so late in the game.
Client: Yes, you never told us anything about it before!
You: I can understand how this information can be jarring to receive suddenly.
Reflective listening is a powerful tool. It checks for shared reality and also confirms that you deeply understand where the client is coming from and experiencing. But reflective listening alone is not enough to move forward and repair a misunderstanding.
Choice is another powerful tool. In this case, this is about giving choice to the other person which invites them into partnership, instead of a one sided solution. Note that the secret to the two choices is: these are choices that YOU can live with and implement. Do not promise anything that your team cannot deliver.
Let’s apply it to this continued scenario:
Client: Your team already has so much time on this project, so how can you present this information now?! We have to present these findings to senior leadership soon and this doesn’t make any sense.
You: I know that time is limited and you would like to present the best recommendations to your stakeholders.
Client: Yes, exactly!
You: How about this: my team can take a deeper look at the new data and enfold it into the recommendations after 3 more days. Or you can present the initial findings and recommendations to your stakeholder as soon as possible, with the understanding that there is opportunity to provide additional insights at a later time.
Client: Let’s get this done in 3 days. I would rather present the entire finding since the senior leadership team has limited time.
You may also wonder: what if the client picks neither of the choices?
Then this is an opportunity to anchor the conversation with what they like about either of the options (if any) and what is still missing for them to reach a true yes to a decision. So choice can also serve as a jumping off point for brainstorming to meet the needs of the clients that is doable for your team.
Note that this is not a made up scenario. This was a real situation I faced as a project manager.
What was so satisfying about this situation is that the client felt really heard and the project was able to weather a bumpy journey. Additionally as a people manager, when I checked in with the junior team members about what happened – they were astounded! They personally got to witness the power of reflective listening which makes the previous training relevant and applicable instead of just being theory.
I hope this short case study shows that you don’t have to stifle yourself in order to be effective. Even in “power over” situations with a manager or client we can remain in choice by giving others choices that are acceptable for us, instead of presenting options that are not doable. This helps us be more present and authentic at work.
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Nancy Li is a coach for high achieving professionals who struggle to be authentic and feel connected in relationships. Together, she nourishes their inner connection so they can show up fully and authentically.
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